Silent Goodbyes

Today is Thanksgiving and guess what, I have a lot to be thankful for. Shoot I am still here and for that alone I am praising God. I am that friend that texts everyone and tells them “Happy Thanksgiving”. This morning I got out my Samsung Edge 7 and began to create my customary text and then I realized something… My list of sendees has silently dwindled to just those who add substance to my life.

Over the course of the year people have silently walked away from me for …well I am unsure of the reasons because they exited stage left without even a “so long” or a “fuck you bitch” ..nothing.. Just stopped calling, texting, interacting and faded into …well who knows, I haven’t talked to them in months. And before someone says the phone works both ways.. the reason I know they faded to black on me is because when I spoke they didn’t respond.

I understand that life takes turns, people grow apart, and things change but I also understand that if you value someone at any point in life that they deserve some form of interaction when it comes to removing yourself from their life. Maybe that is just me. Maybe I see people that I allow into my life, into my space, and in my psyche as important and deserving of interaction and explanation. Maybe others do not see it that way and because of that realization I am not mad. I am a little hurt because I thought I meant to them what they meant to me but apparently that is not the case.

I am one of those people who value those I call friend and if you are upgraded to family status I fold you into the fabric of my world so when you leave without a word, do not return text messages, send my calls to voicemail, how am I supposed to take that?  I fault my parents. They told me to care for people and apparently this world doesn’t work that way. Apparently you discard people on a whim. You care about people in spurts. You trash twenty year friendships. I have never really understood…until this year.

This year I examined my so called connections and realized that most of my connections were one sided and were going to end at some point. I had created a connection with people who were just tolerating my presence because they needed me at that moment. When I stop being useful, meeting a need, or my space needed to be filled by someone else they just dipped. And again this hurt at first cut but after examining  the losses they were not really losses at all.

Sometimes you have to subtract people from your life. And sometimes God intercedes and allows them to remove themselves. Take this as a gift from that person. Who wants (or needs for that matter) people in their lives who do not want to be there. If they wanted you to know they would have told you why they were leaving. This would give you the opportunity to change or to change something or at least acknowledge (or deny) your role in their exit. But if they walk away without word than it more about them than you. Its about them telling themselves it all your fault and that they are better off without you. They have to do what makes them feel comfortable. And none of that involves talking to you about your “relationship”.

So after conversations with my ace girls and my tribe guys, I am at peace with those who silently said goodbye to me this year. I thank them for their foresight and for the time they gave to fake a relationship with me.  I wish them the best and then allow the commission on that ship to end. And as I type this I have removed them from all my social media platforms (they are lingering to be nosy), deleted them from my phone (I could use the space) and moved on.

Life is too short to worry about things and people that do not add to your life. Time is the one thing you cannot get back and I refuse to waste any on people who can careless about me. So the epicness of Chapter 41 continues… lessons continue to be taught and I continue to listen, take notes, and apply what I have learned.

Lesson: LET PEOPLE GO!!!!!


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One thought on “Silent Goodbyes

  1. Honey child you just hit the nail on the head!!!! I was just sitting here thinking that I had sent a text to a friend a week maybe two weeks ago and I haven’t heard back. And This friend even text me out the blue sometimes to check on me. So now I’m starting to get worried that I haven’t heard back. At first I was a little testy, but then I realized, this person doesn’t usually ignore me. But I digress….and I will say that God will intercede and make sure that he removes people or have them remove themselves! I am a testament to that fact and I thank him for it all the time!!!! Great post my friend!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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