Balancing Irons

I’ve got your back.

If you need anything, call me.

You are not in this alone.

We have all heard these statements. We have all made these statements.  But the reality is that very few mean what they say when they say it. Some people just say things to make themselves feel better. Some says things because they think they are supposed to. Others just want to look like they care. And then there are those who truly care enough to actually have your back. They are there when you call them and show up so you are not alone. These people are as strong as iron.

Sad that this is the state of relationships today. Be they romantic relationship or platonic relationships.  The older I get the more I see people only showing up those who can benefit them in the long run. This goes for family also.

My parents raised me to support and to help where I can. I do not help to get help in return but at some point there has to be some reciprocation; because that is what relationships entail, give and take. When one person is down the other should be in a position to help them up. It is about complementing and balancing the other person. My father always told me “find someone who sharpens your edges”. And I have always heard “iron sharpens iron” but only as an adult did I come to fully understand what it meant.

According to the Kings James Version explanation, (1) the phrase “iron sharpens iron” which is found in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” There is mutual benefit in the rubbing of two iron blades together; the edges become sharper, making the knives more efficient in their task to cut and slice. Likewise, the Word of God is a “double-edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12), and it is with this that we are to sharpen one another—in times of meeting, fellowship, or any other interaction.

So in layman’s terms you should surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. That build you up and help you achieve your goals and find your potential. The old adage that you are who you hang out with is so very true. So if you are reading this and thinking why am I stuck, you may want to look at those who surround you. No one is telling you to walk away from anyone but you may have to grow in a different direction and limit that person’s access to you. Growth does not require loss but it does require understanding.

As human beings we require touch, interaction and understanding. So surround yourself with people who will add to your life. Who make you better, who sharpen your skills and life experiences. People who add to you, not take away from who are and can be.

As I approach another year on this earth I truly thank God for the powers of discernment. I used to get really upset about the lack of reciprocal support but I have learned that people are not always able to reciprocate what you give them or what you give up for them. So in response you govern your interactions accordingly and you remain sane, true to yourself and those you interact with. You always walk away happy and unbothered by the actions of others.

I was placed here to help people, that is my calling. I will sharpen the dullest of point because that is what I was called to do. But on the other side of that there has to be some balance.  We have to have balance in our lives and I need it for my sanity.  So as I am called to sharpen irons I am also in the process of perfecting the art of balancing irons.



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2 thoughts on “Balancing Irons

  1. I’m really both touched and saddened by this. You have always been the person who has been there for everyone else. You’re the one person people can count on to have their backs. It hurts me to know that you have been through this, or even continue to experience this. Sometimes I have felt this way. I try to immediately shake it off because there are times where I have felt like I’m exactly the person this post is describing. Not on purpose, of course, but its hard for me to read this and not wonder, “is that me? Am I guilty of this?” If I’m being honest with myself, I know that I have “dropped the ball”–as they say–on many occasions. I regret all the missed opportunities when I should have been there when someone else needed me. When I do my self-reflection, I cringe inwardly. On my mind is always what I should have done or said differently that would have led to better outcomes that I wouldn’t have to feel so torn up inside about. I have worked so hard in recent years to make sure that I am not “that” person. That’s why its important for me to press to keep so many in my prayers because a lot of times, I’m physically unable do things or be there for them. The least I could do is keep them in my prayers. Still, I can’t help thinking when will someone do this for me? Why am I always the only one working on becoming a better version of myself? Why does it feel like I’m the only trying to be a better sister, mother, wife, friend? Sorry, I digress. Anyway, this post hits the nail right on the head and the an arrow straight through the heart. Thank you for writing this.


    1. Thanks Meka for reading it. I try to show up for people but the older I get it is like you have to beg people to take part in your life and your dreams. Starting this business has shown me who has my back and doesn’t. It was a hard lesson to learn and it hurts to know people do not care to support you but will call you when they need something from you. BUT LESSON LEARNED!


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